


A Recipe for Family (Sweet Memories)

by CardiganVixen



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Baking, Begging, Ben is Half Jewish, Ben pours some sugar on Rey, Death of parent, Dirty Talk, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Food Kink, Grief/Mourning, Oral, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sir Kink
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 06:10:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17115917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CardiganVixen/pseuds/CardiganVixen
Summary: Prompt for Collection: BakingRey Solo never had any Christmas traditions that felt like her own, until her husband Ben Solo and his family.After Han’s death, Ben refuses to deal with the prospect of a Christmas without him and Rey realizes she could lose those precious traditions. She won’t let that happen without a fight.





	1. Whip, whip! Stir, stir!

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is written in honor my grandfather who passed away this November. Not that he would ever read fan fiction, but I’m using this story to process my sadness and I know that he was always proud of me, so he would be happy I’m writing.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben would much rather eat sugar off Rey and avoid talking about his father.

[](https://hmp.me/cea9)

 

 

 

The enveloping smell of ginger and butter floated into Ben Solo’s home office, where he was methodically cutting wrapping paper. He stopped to breathe it in, his sense memory taking over, bringing him back to his childhood, to his father, flannel decked and beaming as he beckoned Ben over to the oven…

Ben blinked to stop the rush of tactile images, rubbing his eyes and yawning. 

“Bugger all!” 

The exclamation was followed by the crash of metal on metal. Ben hopped up and strode into the kitchen, where he found the culprit, his wife Rey, as she glowered at a tray of slightly misshapen gingerbread people. She had flour in her chestnut hair, molasses and sugar stained her apron. 

“What’s wrong with this batch,” Ben asked gently. This had been going on for two days now - he had learned a cautious approach was the best. 

Rey turned to look at him, her eyes lit up with frustration. 

“Look at them! The dough isn’t bloody right, they come out lumpy and too big, and they still don’t taste right!” Rey sighed, pulling off her oven mitts and throwing them on the kitchen counter. “Maybe you are right, maybe I should just give up.” 

Ben walked over to her and wrapped her in a hug, enjoying the feel of her soft hair on his cheek as he rested his head on the top of hers. “I’ve been telling you, you don’t need to go to all this trouble. Sometimes we just have to let the past die.” 

“Ben, the one thing I remember about your dad are those gingerbread cookies,” Rey said, turning to look up at him, still in his embrace, “Maybe if you just talk to your mum she’ll remember something about the recipe? If you just—“ 

“My mother didn’t step foot in a kitchen except to turn on the coffee machine,” Ben said cutting her off, “Besides my dad wasn’t one to write things down, he was a very monkey see, monkey do kind of guy.” 

Rey could see Ben shutting down further at every mention of his father and mother, his eyes clouding over with sadness and anger. A part of her felt guilty and was telling her to stop pushing this. But a much louder part knew that Ben still hadn’t dealt with Han’s death, his issues with his mother, any of it. This was the first Christmas without Han in his life and Rey saw him retreating further inward each day closer to December 25th. 

She felt like she was losing him. 

“It’s sad that he never found time to show you, my cookie cravings are reaching maximum Santa levels of desperate,” Rey wheedled.

“Rey, I don’t want to talk about this!” Ben barked, his mood shifting abruptly.

Rey pulled away, taking umbrage at his tone. Before she could turn away, Ben scooped her in his arms, kissing her feverishly, lifting her as he covered her mouth with his. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he apologized between wet pecks on Rey’s now swollen lips. “Let’s just drop it, ok?” 

Rey’s mind protested, but she held her tongue. Ben squeezed her tight against him as he kissed her, she could feel him grow ready against her belly. 

“I have baking to do, Mister, “ Rey said, with little conviction. The throb of arousal started between her thighs, hungry and impatient. 

“So do I,” Ben whispered. Lifting Rey up on the kitchen counter, he reached into the metal bowl on her right, his fingers now dusted with snowy confectioner’s sugar. He touched it to her lips and then kissed her, tasting the sweetness against them. He dipped his fingers in again, placing the sugar against her left cheek and kissed there, flicking his tongue out of his mouth slightly to lick up the sugar. Rey shuddered and then gasped when Ben plunged his hands into her sweatpants, touching her pussy, feeling the heat and wetness. 

“Almost ready,” he said slyly. 

“Ben--I really should--” 

“Go to the bed? I agree.” Grabbing the bowl of sugar in his left hand, Ben scooped Rey over his right shoulder, carrying her to the bedroom. He lay Rey on the sheets, being careful not to spill the bowl of powdery sugar. He set the bowl on the night table, and without words, pulled off her light gray sweatpants.

“Unzip your sweater, but leave it on,” he commanded. 

Rey looked up at him, her eyebrow arched in defiance. “Say please.” 

Ben looked down at her, rumpled and flushed, on his side of the bed. Her legs were partially spread, giving him a peek at the thatch of trimmed curls between them, her face playful. His cock bucked at the image. Give and ye shall receive. 

“Please,” he said, his voice a husky rumble in his chest.

Rey maintained eye contact with Ben as she slowly pulled the zipper down on her forest green hoodie, exposing her athletic frame and pert breasts, her rosy-brown nipples peaking as the air hit them. 

Ben yanked his shirt off and sank to his knees by the edge of the bed. Rey looked at him from her position, drinking in his hungry expression. The bare skin of his broad chest tickled her inner thighs as he leaned down to kiss her. He reached for the sugar on the nightstand, licking his fingers so that the sugar would stick. Again, he played the game, following the touch of his fingers with his kisses to capture the light sweetness on her skin. He traveled up and up, stopping at the apex of her thighs. He looked up at her, his eyes almost black with arousal. 

“This is sweet enough.” He dipped his head to her pussy and flicked his tongue across the top of her folds, causing Rey to yip. Her breathing shallowed, she lay back and grabbed his thick hair as he tended to her, his warm breath and wet tongue driving all rational thought from her mind. 

Rey let out a strangled groan. 

“What was that,” Ben murmured against her skin, his shuddering exhales tickling her. 

“N-n-nothing, oh god,” Rey mewled. 

“Do you like that?” 

“Mm yes.” 

“Yes ,what?” 

“Yes—sir.” 

Hearing Rey submit caused Ben’s body to ignite. He growled and jumped up on the bed, unbuttoning his pants in one swift motion. 

Rey grasped his cock, now freed. “You’re very excited, Mr. Solo.” 

“That’s what hearing you call me “sir”? does to me.” He positioned himself above her, lavishing in the feel of her bare breasts against his chest. He held himself up slightly on his thick forearms. 

“Fuck me, sir.” 

Ben plunged into her. She was wet and willing, enveloping him in her warmth. 

Like home, he thought. 

Rey focused on the sensation of Ben’s cock massaging the walls of her pussy. Her moans built, the sensation thrilling up her spine with each stroke. 

“Tell me you like it, Rey,” Ben grunted, working his hard, long length with enthusiastic precision. 

“I l-love it.” Rey moaned. 

“You-love it- what?” 

“I love it, sir!” 

“Fuck!” Ben cried and picked up the pace. Rey wrapped her legs around his waist, locking them at the ankles. In response Ben lifted her from the bed, sitting her on his lap. He moved her up and down, she responded grinding her hips onto his lap. 

Their breathing became synced, panting together as if they shared energy in a continuous circle of air and flesh uniting, until Rey’s orgasm flowed through her, her eyes rolling back into her head. Ben followed, his harsh cry muffled into Rey’s shoulder as he held her tight, the walls of her pussy fluttering around his cock as he came. 

“Wow,” Rey huffed, falling backwards onto the bed. Ben followed, wrapping his arms around her, “That’s certainly one way to win an argument.” 

“Hm,” Ben said. He nuzzled her neck, breathing in her scent, musky with sweat and sex. 

Silence fell between them, but Rey felt anything but still. _It was silly_ , she thought, _it was silly to push this_. They were just cookies, there were lots of other traditions Ben had with his family that they wouldn’t be able to recreate in the absence of Han. 

But before Ben and the Solo’s, Rey had none of those traditions. She had grown up bouncing around different foster homes, aging out at 18 with nowhere to go. It was her friends Finn and Rose who had taken her in, had tried to give her a sense of normalacy. But they had their own families and their own traditions. She had always been welcomed, but it never stuck.

Not until Ben. She had only had a chance to spend a few Christmases with Ben’s family before Han’s illness became too much, but those memories were precious. She had seen a different side of Ben - not the reserved, sometimes arrogant man whose quiet power tended to intimidate others. Instead, he was boyish, flushing in embarrassment at his father’s jokes but still smiling widely at the punchline. His mother Leia he had a cooler relationship with, she could see where he got his pragmatism, but still Rey could see how he basked in the love they shined upon him. It was the only time of year he really got to see them and they made it count. 

Rey loved watching Ben cook with his dad, while his mother spiked the eggnog and offered it to her with a wink. She loved that they had both a Christmas tree, and a menorah which they kept out with the Christmas decorations, ‘So that Santa doesn’t think he owns the place’ Leia had said looking around with mock horror at the abundance of lights and trimmings that festooned the room. ‘Not Santa, Jesus!’ Han had yelled from the kitchen, leaning out to give Leia a cheeky grin. 

Rey felt these traditions become hers because Ben was hers. The drunken caroling, the opening of one present on Christmas Eve, followed by the wrapping paper tornado on the morning of the 25th. Those cookies, the right amount of chewy and crispy, the taste of ginger melting along her tongue. Ben’s face, his serene, loved expression making him look 10 years younger. 

It frightened her to think she would never see that expression again. 

Han had deteriorated rapidly after last years holiday, as if he had mustered the energy for one more good memory before falling apart. Ben took more time off of work than he ever had to see him, flying back and forth every week. Rey remembered the frantic phone calls between Ben and Leia, his concern turning to anger as his mother let slip that Han had been sick for a long time, he just hadn’t wanted to tell Ben. After that revelation, the news only got worse. Ben stopped picking up the phone and buying plane tickets. He shut off from his mother, and since Rey had never felt very close to her, she had been afraid to intervene. Instead she answered the calls he wouldn’t and relayed the worsening news as gently as she could. She could hear the pain in Leia’s voice every call, but she could do nothing. Ben had shut down, working 90 hours weeks, burying himself in consulting work. 

By Spring, Han had died. They went for the funeral. Ben did not look at or interact with his mother. Rey tried to get him to say something, anything to her, but it was as if looking at her would destroy him. He had been asked to do the eulogy and hadn’t been able to get through it. His uncle Luke had come up, patting him on the shoulder and took over. Ben got sick and was bedridden for 3 days after the funeral.

Then time did what it does best. Ben improved, stopped working so many deadly weeks, per Rey’s fiery insistence, and had seemed to be coming to terms with what happened. She had even hoped that as the holidays approached he would see how much he needed to reach out to Leia to reconnect. Instead the denial began all over again. 

She turned to him in the bed - his breathing had steadied, he was asleep, his dark lashes fanning his cheeks. Afraid to touch him in case he would wake, Rey just watched him, her mind racing, until she too succumbed to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated!


	2. Doing it Wrong, Getting it Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets advice from her friends.

It was Monday. Ben was up at five am and out the door at five-thirty. Rey pretended to sleep as he planted soft kisses on her cheeks and forehead. 

“I love you,” he murmured and was gone. 

Rey’s eyes snapped open when she heard the door close. She again thanked her past self for having the foresight to take the two weeks before Christmas off. Ben had refused before she could even ask, citing all the time he had already taken and his responsibilities, blah blah. Rey wondered when he had gotten so used to lying to himself, especially since her friend Rose, who worked for the same company and happened to sit next to his boss’s office, had told her that Ben had been offered the time, his boss knowing that it would be his first Christmas without his dad. He had ‘gallantly refused’, Rose had said. _Gallant my ass_ , Rey thought. 

After an hour or so she got up, still naked from last night except for her unzipped hoodie, and stumbled to the bathroom. After a shower, a change of clothes and a vigorous brushing of her teeth, she went to the kitchen. 

“Oh shit,” she exclaimed and ran to the oven. A muggy heat emanated from it.

She had left the oven on. All night. She had let Ben and sex sugar and those lips take her away from the kitchen and court near disaster. _Thank god they hadn’t burned the house down_ , she thought. 

“Damn it Ben,” she said under breath and turned it off. She knew technically it wasn’t his fault but she didn’t feel like being charitable. He was never this reckless. Ben folded his underwear, he measured his hems and whenever he cooked the kitchen always looked cleaner afterwards. Where for her…

She looked around at the chaos of dough crusted bowls and ingredients scattered on the counters. With a sigh she began the cleaning process, but it didn’t stop her from worrying about Ben. Again. 

She was not going to have a damn Merry Christmas if she let this continue. 

She loved Ben, she knew he was grieving. The internet loved to say that everyone did this in their own way, that he would figure it out. 

But Rey had come to the conclusion that Ben was doing this fucking wrong. 

She made the kitchen look decent, made herself a rather large cup of peppermint mocha coffee and sat at their dining table/breakfast nook table that was used for all manner of projects and covered with loose household items like mail and keys. 

She pulled out her phone and began texting Rose, who told her to call her office phone. 

“Hey, why are you up this early on your vacation,” Rose asked after she picked up the on the first ring. 

“Force of habit,” Rey said, “Are you free for lunch today?” 

“Actually yes, I’m leaving at noon thank god. I finally get to start my vacation.” 

“Oh that’s awesome, I need to ask you for some advice, or maybe just have you listen as I ramble.” 

“I was going to meet up with Finn - we are knocking out Christmas shopping. Is that cool?” 

“It’s perfect actually, two friends for the price of one.” 

“Alright, neat. We’re doing that grilled cheese place, you know that one.” 

“You mean the only grilled cheese place you ever go to? Yes, I know that one.” 

“Haha. By the way, your hubby is here,” Rose said in a conspiratorial tone. 

“I know,” Rey said. 

“He was here when everyone else was getting in, working like a fiend, scaring the interns. I thought he had a home office, why doesn’t he use it?” 

“This is segueing into what I need your advice about. Can we hold until lunch?” 

“Ah, yeah sure.” 

“Thanks. See you later.” 

“In a while, Rey-rey.” 

Rey didn’t bother to change for lunch. Maz’s Melts was a paper napkins, greasy spoon wannabe kind of place. She hopped out of her Uber, spotting Rose and Finn already sitting with plastic laminate menus in their hands. 

“Hullo.” 

“Hey you!” Rose jumped up to give Rey a quick warm hug. Finn stood and pecked her on the cheek. 

“Rey, ok, I’m glad you are here, help me decide. I’m between the Kenobi Club or Chewie’s Classic Cheddar,” Finn asked as he sat down again. 

“Hmm I’m always a fan of good melty cheddar, I always get the Chewie.” 

“He’s going to pick the Kenobi Club, it’s what he always gets. I don’t know why he tortures himself with choice,” Rose said, rolling her eyes. 

“Hey, one of these days I might surprise you,” Finn chuffed. 

When the server came, Rey stifled a giggle as Finn asked for the Kenobi Club, Rose mouthed ‘I told you’ and pretended to scan her menu when Finn shot her an annoyed look. 

After the server left, Rose studied Rey, her head tilted in concern. 

“So what’s up? I can read the worry all over you,” Rose said. 

“If it’s about Christmas gifts, you know I got you, I’m the master gifter,” Finn crowed. Rey gave Rose a teasing side eye. 

“I won’t give him shit about that one, he is pretty good at the Santa Claus thing,” Rose said, smiling over at Finn. 

“It’s about cookies. Well no it’s really about Ben and his dad and cookies.” 

Finn and Rose looked at Rey with mutual perplexed expressions. 

“I’m not saying this right, let me start over.” 

Rey explained about Ben and what he had been going through, about his shift in mood as Christmas approached. She explained about Han and the gingerbread and what she had decided she should do about as she had cleaned the mess of a kitchen that morning. 

“So that’s where I’m at with this—what do you think?” She looked at Finn and Rose. Finn was nodding encouragingly, while Rose had a more measured expression. 

“I think that if it works out it could be a really wonderful idea. And if it doesn’t, you are going to be in for a rough holiday my friend,” Rose said. 

“You think? I mean why wouldn’t Ben’s mom want Rey to reach out to her? She was the one answering the phone calls when his dad was sick and he wasn’t talking to her anymore, she probably would welcome hearing from you,” Finn said. 

“Er, well the thing is, even during that I still never felt really close to Leia. I mean she was always nice on the phone, she is always nice to me, but I dunno I just feel like there’s always been this wall between us.” 

“You think she’s one of those mom’s who resents the wife taking away her baby boy?” Rose asked. 

“I don’t know. I hope not. I hope she doesn’t think I would ever encourage Ben to stop talking to her.” 

“Hey I’ve met your tall broody husband, I don’t think anyone could make him do something he didn’t think of first,” Finn said. 

“Well he certainly doesn’t want to talk to his mom, even bringing it up made him act like a caveman last night,” Rey said, shrugging. 

“Oh?” Rose asked, her eyebrows waggling. Rey blushed. 

“Alright, alright, remember that I’m still here you two.” 

“Whatever do you mean lover?” Rose asked, batting her lashes dramatically at Finn. 

“You and Rey and your thirst convos. I hear you two, sending Polos to each other.” 

Rey and Rose looked at each other and burst out giggling. Rose stopped laughing first, giving Rey a thoughtful look. 

“Rey, I don’t want to discourage you,” Rose said, “But I have to ask—how much of this is for Ben and how much for you?” 

Rey shifted in her chair and looked down at her hands, not wanting to answer. 

“I just know—traditions and the holidays, it’s kind of a sore subject for you.” 

“Rose—“ 

“Ben may just need time Rey—“ 

“Rose—“ 

“Not everyone deals with things the same way, what—“ 

“Rose! I know ok!” Rey exclaimed, louder than she intended. The server took this moment to come by with their orders. She eyed Rey, Finn, and Rose and put their sandwiches on the table as an awkward silence descended. Finn gave the server a sheepish ‘Thanks’ as she walked away. 

“Sorry. I know. I have said all these things to myself. But I feel it, in my bones, this isn’t the way. Yes, I know I get sappy about tradition, but this is more than that. This is about Ben, I just know that if I don’t fight for him, he will never fight for himself. He has this terrible habit of running from pain,” Rey said. 

“Well—“ 

“Ok, yes Finn, I know that’s like everyone. But remember the part about him being a bloody stubborn immovable wall?” 

Finn nodded, sighing. He reached over and gave Rey’s hand a quick squeeze. She shot him a grateful half smile. 

“Ok. So you are doing this—do you need help?” Rose asked. 

“No...no. I’m going to figure this out.” 

“You know you can make your own traditions Rey right? Like you and Ben are husband and wife, a family, that’s what families do,” Rose said. 

“Yes. But part of what makes a family are what they bring with them, who they bring with them. I know Ben isn’t ready to let go of that.” 

Rey ended the conversation by picking up her sandwich and taking a large bite and chewing thoughtfully. Rose and Finn followed suit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Kudos and comments appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Comments and Kudos much appreciated.


End file.
